I checked this out from the library and read the whole thing. And then I ordered my own copy so that I could mark it up and reread it as often as I liked. Also, my phone is now full of pictures of pages where something struck me enough that I needed to mark it, and library school taught me that librarians frown on you marking up library copies.
My mom was reading it when Ella was born and brought her copy out when she came to help and she read me large segments of the book aloud while I nursed Ella.
Reading this book on my own brought back those happy memories of my brand-new baby and our tiny, sunny little apartment in Boston. Here is why it takes me forever sometimes to write reviews. This could have made the book extremely dull, probably, but she works it in wonderfully. In The Happiness Project, she divides her project into twelve months, with a different area of focus each month and then three or four goals for each area to work specifically on.
Of course, for me, the main thing that makes or breaks a memoir is how much I like the writer. And I loved Gretchen Rubin. She is highly educated and successful Yale Law grad, best-selling biographer even before The Happiness Project became an enormous sensation , but she also seems very down-to-earth.
I found her very easy to relate to. When she succeeds, I wanted to cheer for her and when she loses sight of her goals and snaps at her kids or has a grumpy day, I completely empathized. I completely buy that her life really was happier at the end of the year-long project.
And I feel like having read her book has helped me be happier in my own life. I realized how true this was one morning when I was feeling really grumpy. My natural inclination was to snap at Bart for no good reason just to let off some steam. This was really an eye-opening experience for me.
Here are a couple of things that stood out to me:. Unless I read ten more unbelievably fantastic books this year, expect to see this one on my Best of list in December.
Copy checked out from my local library. I was anxiously awaiting this review, and now I'm anxiously awaiting my library copy. Sounds fascinating. This is one of my favorite books, and one I've been toying with rereading because I remember how much I loved it. It's so practical. Do you follow Gretchen's blog or her Twitter account? Worth it. I have had another book on happiness sitting on my shelf since grad school called "Stumbling Upon Happiness," and I've been hesitant about picking it up only because of how much Ruben's book spoke to me.
I enjoyed parts of it same as her blog , but I ultimately sold my copy to a used book store. I found Gretchen kind of shallow and artificial. I couldn't relate to some of the things she did to work on happiness. I know I wouldn't derive happiness in the same ways. There were several things I marked as I began to read it lots of gems tucked in there , but ultimately I was exhausted by all of the effort she had to put into appreciating all of the privilege she had.
I really need to get this book. We don't know the things that may be going on in their lives. Familiarity breeds affection in most instances. The more see someone the more we like them - although obviously this doesn't apply in all cases. Spontaneous trait transference. Studies show that people unintentionally transfer to you the traits you ascribe to other people, so if you gossip about someone being arrogant, that trait will also be ascribed to you.
Luckily it applies to positive things too. And if you complain a lot Samuel Johnson "To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy. Good conversation: Listen. Get involved in someone else's conversation, rather than just waiting for when you can speak up about your experiences.
Bad conversation: Being a know-it-all telling lots of anecdotes that show off your knowledge. Being a topper: "You think YOU had a crazy morning. Let me tell you about mine! I thought it was kind of boring. Goody goody two shoes: Exercise: Try having a Pollyanna week.
You may well not do it perfectly, but it's a great exercise. In many way Pollyanna-ish behaviour is good, and cheers everyone up. View all 22 comments. Apr 18, Tasha rated it did not like it Shelves: didn-t-finish. All the navel-gazing of "Eat, Pray, Love" with none of the interesting commentary provided by other characters.
Gretchen is the only actual being in her world; everyone else, including her husband and children, is merely a mirror reflecting who she thinks she should appear to be. I'm convinced that the author wants to be happy only because someone else told her she should. I'm all for fluff reading, but this took it to a new level. The chapter on cleaning her closets yes, an entire chapter abou All the navel-gazing of "Eat, Pray, Love" with none of the interesting commentary provided by other characters.
The chapter on cleaning her closets yes, an entire chapter about closet-cleaning did me in. View 1 comment. Dec 11, Christy rated it liked it Shelves: audio , three-stars-and-below.
I always like when authors narrate their own books, and Gretchen Rubin did a nice job with the audio. I listened to the book fairly quickly, it only took me 2 days. On the parts that related to my life, I can give an awesome star rating to. Unfortunately, a lot of the book had to do with parenting and other things not just ones own happiness and I found myself completely zoning out. Still, it was a solid read and there are parts 3. Still, it was a solid read and there are parts of it that were insightful and I'll take away and use.
View 2 comments. Aug 19, Sarah rated it did not like it. For fun, someone should do a search through this book to see how many times the phrase "studies show that" actually appears.
The entire book reads like a college term project written by a self-absorbed teacher's pet. The author readily admits to being the type of person who always wants a "gold star" for her efforts. She strikes me as the type of person who plays everything by the book - from graduating from Yale law school to clerking for Justice O'Connor, so it makes sense that she would tac For fun, someone should do a search through this book to see how many times the phrase "studies show that" actually appears.
She strikes me as the type of person who plays everything by the book - from graduating from Yale law school to clerking for Justice O'Connor, so it makes sense that she would tackle happiness as just another project to be ticked off the list and approach it from the chart-making, resolution-keeping perspective.
Yet, she seems to yearn for some adventure, which it appears she believes she's at least partially achieved by "discovering what she loves" and making the decision to quit lawyering and become a full-time writer. Isn't that such a crazy and wild thing to do? Personality quibbles aside, I really hated this book.
I tried to read it twice. Both times, I was struck by the mechanical tone and formulaic "how tos" of happiness achievement: Smile! Don't criticize! Go with the flow! Be playful! One gets the sense that Ms. Rubin is gallantly trying to break free from her rigid, type-A personality, for which she deserves some credit, but it just comes across as play-acting for the sake of keeping her resolutions I. OK, personality quibbles not aside. Ultimately, she fails to convince me that any of these "how-tos" have anything to do with happiness at all.
From Ms. Rubin's perspective, it appears as though happiness is an relatively achievable goal - something you set your mind to, grit your teeth and, armed with plenty of charts and lists, set out to achieve. It's pedantry disguised as seeking and true insight. Well, congratulations, Ms.
You are the first person in history to both discover the meaning of happiness and achieve it. Gold star! I won this advance copy book through the Goodreads Giveaway and could not have been more stoked!
I am always creating lists and goals and things to improve my life. I feel like books, songs, movies always have a way of finding me when I need them most.
I just quit my job because I was way too miserable and I have been home for the past few weeks feeling extremely unhappy and like my life was just miserable. This book was just the inspiration to want to change my situation and bring about more ha I won this advance copy book through the Goodreads Giveaway and could not have been more stoked! This book was just the inspiration to want to change my situation and bring about more happiness into my life.
While I am an adventurous soul and loved reading memoirs by people who go do extreme things to find themselves and change their lives ie Eat, Pray, Love. This is not a luxury I have and I liked Rubin's idea of not wanting to reject her life but wanting to "change her life without changing my life, by finding more happiness in my own kitchen. Sure, I would love to go gallivanting off to other parts of the world to find myself and make myself happier but that is just not a reality and I'm just not sure it would teach me how to live my normal life.
I loved the questions that the author asked of happiness and how she approached what happiness is and if she believed it was possible to make herself happier. I liked that she was honest about really being a happy person in general and admitting that her life has been pretty easy.. She just wanted to see if she could bring more general happiness into her life and, if did disaster did strike, would it be an enduring and embedded type of happiness that would help her through something.
I absolutely loved the setup of each section. It went month by month. She talked about each of the resolutions she made for that month and talked about her struggles and successes.
She was often times humorous and also very observant. I loved the research she did pertaining to happiness and how she used these ideas to figure out ways to her own happiness. I like how she emphasizes that everybody's happiness project would look very unique. Different things make different people happy.
I didn't always agree with some of her conclusions with her own resolutions but I appreciated the research she did and that it was HER happiness project with HER own results. I'm always skeptical of "self help" type things or 25 ways to happiness deals. I don't think there is a formula to happiness or peace or success. That is what I liked about Gretchen's book.
She wasn't trying to say.. Here is the exact method by which you will be happy! I was certainly inspired by her happiness project and I am planning on starting my own in January The author has a blog too that is chocked full of great advice and if you go back far enough it shows her journey throughout the happiness project. The blog really shows her actually going through with it. The book is the outcome and the reflection.
I actually emailed her to get her resolution chart to see if it's something that might work for me or if I should create my own. She is extremely gracious and incredibly enthusiastic about inspiring and motivating other people to their own elevated happiness.
I'd definitely recommend this book if you are finding yourself increasingly unhappy.. This book got mixed reviews, but I liked it. It was realistic, very readable, and not exploitative of developing cultures like some of these other "Go find yourself " stunt books cough cough Eat,Pray cough cough. Rubin is up-front about the fact that she comes from a white, upper-middle class, happily-married, securely employed New York lifestyle that makes it seem a bit narcissistic for her to go out searching for yet more happiness when she has so many advantages compared to so many other peo This book got mixed reviews, but I liked it.
Rubin is up-front about the fact that she comes from a white, upper-middle class, happily-married, securely employed New York lifestyle that makes it seem a bit narcissistic for her to go out searching for yet more happiness when she has so many advantages compared to so many other people. And yet, I found myself agreeing with her.
For example, why is it that so often people assume that if you're a happy positive person you're automatically less intelligent? This will be the last time I make a disclaimer at work for being addicted to fantasy with elves and dragons and trashy paranormal romances!
I am a university English professor and I have a masters' degree and yeah, the classics are great but I like what I like, and will continue to recommend it to my students along with Hemingway and Salinger and the Bronte sisters.
I do not intend to follow all of Rubin's suggestions. I refuse to accept, for example, that as a mother it is MY job to "be a treasure-house of happy memories. My Self would rather wake up late on Christmas morning to find that the husband and kids got up early and decorated the tree. I highly recommend this book. The writer can actually write, and all of us can find some useful suggestions or at least food for thought here.
View all 10 comments. Pierre Reverdy wrote: There is no love; there are only proofs of love. This book will be more useful if read as a basic self-help book, and not a memoir.
If you are willing to take the blame, people will give you responsibilities. It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light. D Pierre Reverdy wrote: There is no love; there are only proofs of love. Do good, feel good ; feel good, do good. Shelves: psychology , happy , stunt-memoir , took-way-too-long-to-read , get-smart , nonfiction , she-wrote-it. Should the pursuit of happiness be turned into a project? Gretchen Rubin made it a year-long project, one she put her heart and soul, blood, sweat, and tears into.
It may seem like a weird way to go about attaining happiness, but her results, as finely detailed here, are impressive and inspiring. Much has been written about how to be happier.
The general belief seems to be that happiness will come when some milestone is reached or something life-changing happens: paying off a large debt, reachin Should the pursuit of happiness be turned into a project? The general belief seems to be that happiness will come when some milestone is reached or something life-changing happens: paying off a large debt, reaching a goal weight, or winning the lottery.
In plainer words: This book makes sense. The Happiness Project is very well organized, divided into twelve chapters one per month , with each of those further divided into a series of main points. Some she enjoyed more than others, but she did all of them. She talks of feeling rushed and anxious at times, of losing patience and getting irritable. She never pretends to be perfect, though she set the bar high for herself and persisted. It begs a rereading, or if not that, extensive note-taking during the first reading.
Rubin does, however, have a blog that has prompts to help readers set up their own happiness projects. View all 23 comments. Jul 24, Erin rated it it was amazing Shelves: how-to , memoir.
Loved it! Totally want to start my Happiness Project. Gretchen Rubin, happily married mother of 2, had a realization while sitting on a bus that she was letting her life pass her by without fully appreciating it.
Being a writer, she decided to research the origins, psychology and elements of happiness and develop her own Happiness Project, a month experiment each month around a theme like "love", "work" "energy", etc with carefully measured goals and resolutions to see if she cou Inspiring!
Being a writer, she decided to research the origins, psychology and elements of happiness and develop her own Happiness Project, a month experiment each month around a theme like "love", "work" "energy", etc with carefully measured goals and resolutions to see if she could be a happier person, better wife, better mother, better woman.
I enjoy self-help stuff when it doesn't sound too preachy, and Rubin finds a really nice tone to her book that made it compelling, human, not preachy, and honestly kind of charming.
She is pretty honest and open about when things worked and when things didn't quite, the fact that she can be kind of a pill I can relate! I think most people can relate to wanting to do new year's resolutions, but never holding on to them, and she counters that by using her resolution chart and holding herself accountable.
I think what I liked most about it was that she had to learn to "Stay Gretchen" some things work for others and not for you, and that's ok , and that she wanted to change her life without changing her life she couldn't move to Africa, for example, but wanted to make small, manageable changes she could keep the rest of her life.
That spoke to me--I don't know that I'll stay where I am forever, but I think I'll be where I am at least for another year, and want to know that I've really started to pay attention to where I am right now and made a few positive changes. Grow a little! She is quite honest about how this could sound self-absorbed or self-indulgent, but she disagrees in general and believes backing that up with research that happier people are more productive, more generous, more thoughtful, etc.
I'm definitely intrigued and inspired to plan my own Happiness Project. I read this slowly as a bedside book over the course of a few months, which ended up being a great choice because it allowed me to take in a lot more of the content.
The book is dense in the best possible way with philosophy, experi 4. The book is dense in the best possible way with philosophy, experience and advice. What I appreciated most is that her approach is not about undertaking extreme actions to try to achieve happiness, but about finding contentment in the life you already have by adding or tweaking small habits — everything from keeping a one-sentence gratitude journal to organizing your closet.
Like me, Rubin is a pessimist who tends to be judgmental and irritable unless she curbs her natural leanings. She realized that it takes a little more effort to be happy but is worth it. I could see myself and others I know in a lot of her examples. I was reminded of when I was in my senior year of high school and flew out to California to spend my spring break with my sister. My only minor annoyance with the book is the way Rubin presents many of her tenets e. Apr 05, Britany rated it really liked it Shelves: audiobook , memoir , mmd , , non-fiction.
This is my second book by Gretchen Rubin, and my favorite so far. Gretchen decides to take a resolution to a new level by creating mini goals and focus themes for each month over the course of a year to focus on happiness. I loved the structure of this book. I love how Gretchen introduces a topic for each month I kept thinking, how will she come up with another topic, and alas she surprised me every month past July! I loved her proclamations and her essence as she went through her project.
I This is my second book by Gretchen Rubin, and my favorite so far. I appreciate her honesty when she was frustrated or when she lost her patience with something.
This book felt authentic and there are so many things I can take away from her project. She offers great tips like creating photo books for all your notes and journals who knew?
This book will definitely be one that I revisit in the future. Jan 02, Chelsea rated it really liked it. Great book to start the year off with. Good job me! Jan 08, Gina rated it it was ok. Natasha's review of this book is perfect. I think Natasha should re-write The Happiness Project and then it will truly be a project about happiness. I felt that I knew what the book was about and that I could have written it but now that it was written by someone else, my idea for a self-help book was taken.
I said I was "depressed" Natasha's review of this book is perfect. I said I was "depressed" as a humourous play upon the title of the book -- it seems counter-intuitive that a book about happiness would make someone depressed, right? Except now that I have finished reading the book, the joke's on me: I actually am depressed about it.
It was a sad read, in parts, because it was abundantly clear to me that the author doesn't really understand the secret of happiness. I don't feel like the book came to any conclusions on how to be happy in a lasting way. I think the book managed to get published because she was already a published author, so she had connections, and because the publishers were cashing in on what author Gretchen Rubin mentions as "stunt genre journalism", in this case, doing something for a year and then writing about it.
Before I delve into my criticisms, the book was not without merit. There are little nuggets of inspiration, like when Gretchen drastically improves her drawing ability by taking a class that gave her profound anxiety. I would be surprised if anyone could read The Happiness Project without feeling inspired to go outside her comfort zone and do something new.
But the inspiration ended there. Basically, Gretchen wants to be happier. Her husband doesn't understand why she wants to be happier because she seems happy to him but it becomes clear before long, as she describes many insufferable habits and traits of her own, that she's not really happy. So, instead of digging deep, getting at the root of her issues, she makes monthly theme resolutions, travelling the surface streets of why she's obnoxious, putting a superficial band-aid on her flaws.
This is not a book to read if you're looking to identify with someone else's unhappiness to have a "light bulb moment" about your own, unless you really are so uncomplicated and flawless that your only source of unhappiness is not enough extra-curricular busyness in your life, in which case you don't need to read a book to solve that problem.
If she were relaying her poor behaviour so that she could follow it up with an explanation of the root reason for her behaviour and what she realised about herself and how that realisation changed her, then this book would be a worthwhile pursuit. Instead, it reads like a confessional journal, a list of sins and the penance that followed, and the lack of profundity made me sad.
I felt uncomfortable for her knowing that this self-flagellation was not bringing her any lasting insight into why she was unhappy with herself. For example, on page she starts, " I realized I had one particular characteristic that I urgently needed to control: I was too belligerent. The minute someone made a statement, I looked for ways to contradict it. When someone happened to say to me, 'Over the next fifty years, it's the relationship with China that will be most important to the United States,' I started searching my mind to think of counterexamples.
I know very little about the subject. She describes herself as a "know-it-all" who strives to drop literary observations to appear intelligent, a "topper" who tops other people's stories with a bigger and better one, and a "deflater" who finds something negative to say about things that other people were excited about. On page she describes the difficulty she had with trying to squelch her inclinations, "Giving positive reviews requires humility.
I have to admit, I missed the feelings of superiority that I got from using puncturing humor, sarcasm, ironic asides, cynical comments, and cutting remarks. A willingness to be pleased requires modesty and even innocence -- easy to deride as mawkish and sentimental.
He brings the towel and she says, "Folks, that was not the fastest action we could have had. Answering the whys proves difficult for her throughout the book. She's able to narrow behaviour down as being prideful and I admire her for her frankness but she doesn't analyse the source of the pride. So, without really knowing or divulging the source of her problems, she decides that to fix these character flaws she will give up drinking because it enables her belligerence, and she will force herself to be like Pollyanna for a week, including wearing a bracelet to remind her to remember about "Pollyanna Week".
Pollyanna Week succeeds in cutting down her negative comments for that week and has "lasting effects" later, which she doesn't describe. I immediately noted the irony in going about being less negative by It's like trying to lose weight by saying, "I hate being fat. I'm going to stop being fat," instead of "I miss feeling thin and I'm going to be thin again. Everyone is negative sometimes.
We don't need to zip our mouths and be as perfect as impossible. We just need to be more positive than negative. If we're enthusiastic a lot of the time, people will forgive us for being critical some of the time.
If we are frequently celebratory of our friends' successes and interests, people will better tolerate when we indulge in self-absorption for a while. Why didn't she just work on being more loving? Because, by her own assertion, it was "vague" as well as being harder to fake. Negative comments were easier for her to spot and measure. It's easier to stop doing something bad than to start doing something good, but As well, giving up drinking and getting more sleep is great, but not everyone who drinks or is tired is belligerent.
Why is she this way under the influence when some other people are silly and more gregarious when they're boozy or tired? She doesn't ask that question. It seems to me that the source of many of her problems is basic insecurity.
She resolves early on to "Be Gretchen" and throughout the book when she runs up against insecurities, the insecurities are solved by her mantra to "Be Gretchen". So, the lesson here for the reader, when having troubles with insecurities: Be yourself. Problem solved. Why didn't you think of that, Reader? At one point and I can't find the page she asks "Why? Finally, she admits that her Happiness Project made her more judgmental of others for not being happy.
I wonder if she would have had the discipline to keep up with all her resolutions, if she would have challenged herself to take a drawing class that gave her panicky anxiety if she was not doing it for book fodder. Without the resolutions, there would be no story to tell, really, so it seems that the book is in existence for the book's sake. The strange thing is that she's obviously a very intelligent woman who seems introspective enough that I do believe she is capable of getting to the heart of the matter of her problems, of asking the important questions and getting real answers.
I just don't understand why she didn't do it for the book. I guess it just wasn't the style of book she was looking to write or HarperCollins was looking to publish?
Further, what made me sad was reading of Gretchen's struggle to love herself and others in a pure, unshakable way that comes from God and comes from a deep-seated knowledge of the value of another soul. She describes her life as having been fairly easy, her childhood being happy, and she even sounds insecure about that in about three places where she wishes she had hardship to draw on to give herself "legitimacy". I suspect that her happy upbringing is why she struggles to have true compassion for others without having to talk herself into it so much.
Compassion is hard to come by without experience. It's easy to have an intellectual awareness of the need to cut people some slack, it's easy to repeat to one's self: "Everyone is doing the best they can. On page she said, "Along with a more humorous attitude, I wanted to be kinder. I'd considered kindness a respectable but bland virtue Ya think? That really threw me. How can kindness ever be bland as an idea or a manifestation? What strategies would remind me to act with loving-kindness in my ordinary day?
Perhaps mere politeness wouldn't engender loving-kindness in me, but acting politely would at least give me the appearance of possessing that quality -- and perhaps appearance would turn into reality. The entire book is sprinkled with talk of "strategies", with wishful thinking, with "perhaps"s and "maybe"s and "acting".
Is it possible that she does not see that true happiness does not come from acting kind but being kind? On page she says, " Rights have been sold in more than 35 countries. Hundreds of book groups have discussed the book; professors, teachers, psychiatrists, and clergy assign it. The book has spent more than two years on the bestseller lists, and The Happiness Project was even an answer on the game-show Jeopardy! The Happiness Project has been a blockbuster bestseller.
It spent more than two years on the New York Times bestseller list, including hitting 1, has sold more than 1. Download a sample chapter of The Happiness Project here. Let me suggest my book The Happiness Project.
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